


Trustworthy

by citrinesunset



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Community: tw_femficfest, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-30
Updated: 2013-08-30
Packaged: 2017-12-25 01:55:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/947250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citrinesunset/pseuds/citrinesunset
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mary learns to be honest; Toshiko learns to lie. The relationship may work, after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trustworthy

Since coming to Torchwood, Toshiko had been more vigilant. Little things stood out more than they once had: cars that trailed behind hers for more than a minute, people mulling about in the plass at night. Things like that.

Not that she hadn't been observant before. Now she was just . . . more so.

She'd never actually asked Jack if working for Torchwood brought dangers beyond the obvious. She never asked if she might get kidnapped on her way home, or find her flat broken into, because of her job. Asking him would feel like complaining, and she didn't like to complain.

She would never have thought to ask if someone might seduce her to get into Torchwood.

The first time Toshiko saw the woman outside her flat, she was only partially aware of it. The second time, she noticed but let it go, because there were people she didn't recognize all the time.

Now, the woman was at her door. Toshiko peered through the peephole and hesitated just a second before undoing the chain. She did not open the door all the way.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Hello, Toshiko."

Toshiko suppressed a shiver. "Hello?"

The woman leaned forward. "It's me," she said, "Mary."

Toshiko slammed the door shut. She re-engaged the chain and turned the lock. She reminded herself where her gun was (the coffee table) and where she'd left her mobile (her purse). She wondered how quickly she could get to one of them.

"Toshiko!" Mary said. "I just came to talk."

"You've been watching me, haven't you? For the past few days."

"I've been working up the courage. I want to apologize."

"For what? Trying to kill me?"

There was a pause. "I wouldn't do that. I know you don't believe me, but I'm innocent."

Toshiko didn't answer. If she moved now, she could grab her gun. But she stayed glued with her back against the door.

"Toshiko?"

She didn't answer.

"Toshiko, I want to talk. I'll tell you what -- I'll be in that pub where we met. If you want, come and meet me, okay?"

Then there was silence. Toshiko stood there for several seconds, barely breathing. When she looked through the peephole again, she didn't see anyone.

 

* * *

 

She knew what she _should_ do. She should call Jack, and let him handle it. He'd been willing enough to 'handle' it the last time.

She kept telling herself she wasn't bitter towards Jack. Or maybe that she shouldn't be bitter. She wasn't sure which.

Regardless, what she _did_ do was on her holster and her coat. Then, she left her flat and walked the short distance to the pub.

She saw Mary immediately, sitting in a booth. She looked so different, it was no wonder Toshiko hadn’t recognized her. She was taller now, with long, brown hair and brown eyes. Her face and body weren't just changed; they looked entirely new.

Toshiko sank down in the booth in front of her. Mary smiled.

"You came."

"What do you want?"

"I told you. To apologize."

Her voice was different, too, yet at the same time it was hers. Same person speaking, new vocal cords. There was something odd about that.

"I'm not a murderer," Mary said. “You should know that.”

Toshiko lowered her voice. "Then what about the people you killed?”

Mary had a drink in front of her. She picked it up and swilled the liquid around. "And what about you? And your Torchwood? I know what you people do."

"That's different."

"No it isn't." She took a sip of her drink. "Most of those killings your people found out about? They weren't me. You just assumed."

"But some were? You admit that?"

"You want the truth? Self-defense. I've been running for a long time, Toshiko. And I'm not afraid to look out for myself. But you understand that, don't you? You've been there before, when it's kill or be killed. I haven't done anything you wouldn't do."

Toshiko lowered her eyes. She pressed her fingernail into a gouge on the tabletop. "And you took their hearts in self defense, too?"

"No." She leaned forward and placed her hands on the table, not far from Toshiko's. "I told you, I'm not a murderer."

Toshiko looked up. "Then why did you take me hostage?"

"I would have taken you away from there. You were unhappy, weren't you? We could have gone anywhere. Don’t you see? And your coworkers never would have known better." Mary leaned further across the table as she spoke, her voice insistent as though she still believed in whatever she’d imagined for the two of them.

Toshiko wiped tears from the corners of her eyes. "Well, you shouldn't have done it. You shouldn’t have lied to me. I don’t know what the truth is." She got up, and put a hand on the back of the booth to steady herself when she felt a wave of lightheadedness. "I need to leave.”

She headed outside, no more confident than before. She was halfway down the block when she heard Mary call out her name. She stopped and turned around.

"I'm telling the truth," Mary called out. "And I'm falling in love with you."

 

* * *

 

Toshiko did not tell Jack about Mary. She didn't tell anyone. That night, she lay awake, wondering. She didn't know what to believe, anymore.

Maybe it was wrong of her not to tell Jack. Maybe, if Mary hurt anyone, it would be Toshiko’s fault for not saying anything.

And for what? For her pride? Because she was too embarrassed and heartbroken to admit she’d been wrong? Because she still wanted to retcon herself every time she saw Owen and Gwen flirt? Because she swore Jack still looked at her oddly sometimes?

Mary was outside her flat again the next day, when Toshiko was leaving for work.

“I don’t trust you,” Toshiko said.

“I know.” Mary said. She walked alongside Toshiko. “I lie. A lot. Can you blame me? If you were me, wouldn’t you lie?”

When Toshiko didn’t answer, Mary said, “If I’d been honest, you would never have given me a chance.”

Toshiko stopped. She turned and faced Mary. "Well, why don't you give me a chance? Let me make my own judgments."

Mary nodded. “All right. Fine. I'll tell you anything you want to know.”

Toshiko hadn’t expected agreement. She hesitated before saying, “If you lie again...”

“I won’t. I promise.”

They stood there for several moments in awkward silence. Toshiko broke it by looking at her watch. “Later. I need to go to work.”

 

* * *

 

The problem was there were more questions than Toshiko could comprehend. She would ask one thing, and that would open still more questions. It became necessary to prioritize, to decide what was vital and what wasn’t. What parts of Mary she had to have, and which could stay a mystery.

First of all, she needed to know what happened to Mary after Jack tried to kill her.

"Your Captain Harkness has no idea how to kill one of my species," Mary said, a touch of disdain in her voice. "He’s the sort of man who does the most outrageous thing he can think of because he doesn't know what else to do.”

The wind blew Toshiko's hair into her eyes. She was sitting with Mary in an outdoor café, but now she thought the weather was too chilly and windy for an outdoor table. She tugged the cuffs of her jumper over her hands.

“But what happened to you?” she asked.

“I survived. The transporter malfunctioned and brought me back to Earth. My human form was ruined, though. That was unfortunate. I liked it.”

“That’s someone’s body you’re in?”

“Yes. Don’t worry -- I didn’t kill anyone for it. I’m good at making do with what I’m able to find.”

Toshiko didn’t ask that meant. Maybe someday she would.

“I’m glad he didn’t kill you,” Toshiko said.

The only thing Mary wouldn’t tell Toshiko was her real name. She said it couldn't be expressed in verbal language. Toshiko didn't say anything, but she wondered if she should have kept the pendent, after all.

But when Mary reached across the table and took her hand, she could have sworn she'd be able to hear it, anyway.

 

* * *

 

The official decision was that they were taking things slow. Being careful.

That was perhaps the biggest lie of all. It was easy to say, "Let's take our time." But they were just words, and Toshiko knew she didn't believe any of them. It was too hard to keep from falling in love.

"Why can't we just be happy and normal like everyone else?" Toshiko asked one night. They were sitting in Toshiko's living room, side-by-side on the sofa.

Mary lifted Toshiko's chin with her index finger. "Who says we can't be?"

She wanted to say, that was just how it was. She didn't get to have normal relationships. And she didn't get to date aliens. If she hadn't learned that lesson with Mary, she should have learned when Ianto's girlfriend was discovered.

"We can be whatever we want to be," Mary said.

Toshiko closed her eyes and kissed her on the lips. She pretended it was the first time.

In the morning, Mary stood in Toshiko's kitchen, wearing a robe and holding a half-eaten piece of toast in one hand. Toshiko was buzzing back and forth, getting ready to go.

"Is your work going to be a problem?" Mary asked. "With us, I mean?"

"Of course not," Toshiko said.

"They might get suspicious. You might have to lie." Mary took a bite of her toast and swallowed it down dry. "No offense, but you're not a very good liar."

Toshiko looked up, hurt. "I’m not going to tell anyone."

Mary's expression softened. "You're right. I trust you."

They kissed before Toshiko left the flat.

 

* * *

 

Toshiko had never been a rebellious child. She was the sort of kid who learned from watching other children get in trouble. She hadn't gotten the early practice in lying that some of her more devious peers had.

But now, she was prepared. She'd learned a lot recently. She'd learned that her boss, overall decent man that he was, would not hesitate to kill people's girlfriends if he deemed necessary. (She wasn't bitter. Really.)

When she sat down at her workstation, Gwen rolled over on her chair. They weren't unfriendly, but after the thing with Owen, they hadn't been friendly either. Gwen was wearing her best disarming smile, the same one she used on the police when she was hoping for a favor.

"You look happy today," she said.

Toshiko looked at the dim reflection of her face in the computer monitor. She saw herself smile. "I am," she said. "Thank you."

Later, she went to pick up the team's lunch order, and on the drive back to the Hub, Mary called with an invitation to dinner. Toshiko looked at her watch, making a note of how many more hours there'd be until she could leave work.

When she got back, she handed the food to Ianto and was taking off her coat when Jack came over.

"Toshiko!" he said, "Would you mind sticking around tonight? There are some reports I wanted you check before we file them away."

She almost agreed. She could call Mary and give her regrets.

Instead, she said, "Could they wait? I’m actually supposed to be seeing someone tonight."

Jack looked taken aback, but he nodded. "Yeah, no problem." He started to turn around, but stopped. "Anyone special?"

Without missing a beat, she said, "Yes, actually. Might be a new girlfriend."  



End file.
